I like black, not only because it symbolizes health, mature, capable, composure, but also because it’s the envoy that connect my blood and soul, it’s the feature born ancestral and generational. I come from Sudan, black is our pride, but also mine. So when vitiligo came like a demon erode my black, it smashes my confidence from deep inside.
When I find the first white spot on my body, it reminds me of zebra, black alternating with white is the pride of zebra, but it’s my humiliation. I hate when somebody look at me like I am a monster, which make me want die. Going through thorn and effort, I finally find the specialized hospital in Beijng, China. I met the doctors and expert, those people moved me by their passion, most importantly they cured my vitiligo, so that I can got my life back. After few days I will return my home, at this time of parting I have so much things memorable. Those thing I had been go through, which will brand on my mind.
There’s an old saying in China“Seventeen is like the wet season, it contains sentimentality and delicate like rains at this ages”，when I was 17, it should be bloom of my youth, but with the white patches, I living in a life without unforgettable worries, the only thing I can feel is desperation.
That was evening at a dry summer when I was 17, the sun goes down, but it still burning. I come back from swimming as daily, but when I cut mine fingernails, I find a tiny white spot like a mung bean on the top of my index finger, I didn’t have too much thought about it, I even forgot it after finish my work, who would have thought that tiny white spot made me worried from dawn to duck everyday and travel across continent.
As the time goes by, the dry season is gone, the fresh rainy season following, and with raining, the white spot became a ring gradually, is dazzling under the accompaniment of other dark skin. I was anxious with this untreatable white patches. My mom was also worried about me, she said“You need to see a doctor, what if it is some kind of disease, you need take some action immediately, you can’t just worry about it.”After listening my mother’s word，I went to the hospital. After some test, the doctor check my hands carefully, then shook his head and said“This is vitiligo.”What is vitiligo? Although I haven’t heard about this word, but I can seen from doctor’s face knew it must be serious.“You know MJ? He’s got serious vitiligo. Vitiligo is a long term skin condition characterized by patches of the skin losing their pigment, this disease with low cure rate, and relapse from time to time, even in our capital Khartoum, we still cannot treat it.” Doctor explained. But I’m already stunned after he said MJ name.
Doctor said again“In our country, this disease is a difficult illness case, but lately, I attended an international skin disease conference and met a dermatologist come from China, he is the specialist in treating vitiligo work in a specialized hospital , you may visit them and ask for treatment.”So I decided come to China.